Drunken History

So we left our adorable little bungalow in T or C yesterday morning. We went down the street to the Happy Belly Deli and got ourselves a couple of Happy Belly Breakfast Burritos. What a town. We spent a lot of time in a gift shop and I couldn't buy anything for anyone as it was all made of leather and pewter and cost a million dollars each. Someday though, I'm going to have my ranch in Truth or Consequences and be able to afford that sweet cowboy gear. Melissa, C and I have a pact that whoever gets rich and buys a ranch has to hire the other two on as ranch hands. Then I'll die of lung cancer cause who doesn't want to smoke every time they're on a horse?

Then it was off through the desert to Arizona. At least that's what we though. We took a more scenic road that just happened to pass
through two sections of the Gila National Forest. It was absurd. We climbed to over 8000 ft. in these mountains covered in green. It was like the Pacific Northwest had somehow laid claim to this arid mountain in New Mexico. Above and beyond the most beautiful state in the Union. And they are in the Union, gods dammit, no matter how many confederate flags I see.

We made a stop in a town called Silver City and got Wendy's. Zagat voted Wendy's the best burger in Silver City. It was pretty great.

Then we hit Arizona, Tucson and Phoenix. Not too much fun in this state. I think we'll get some genuine desert today, but AZ whatever. Go Steelers. We did, however, eat at this bar called the Purple Turtle. Lots of karaoke by the locals who screamed cause they were horny. Oh boy Phoenix. Where are you coming from?

I didn't bring my razor because my face is still 13, but I look awesome. I can't wait to hit up the town in LA. We'll be getting there today hopefully by evening, ready to take on a Pacific sunset and some sushi, I'm thinking. Funds are still relatively concrete, except for that fucking $245 gas bill I got. What the fuck People's Gas? I'll give you some people's gas.

Superbowl Sunday with Bruce, Melissa Royston that evening, and a flight back home. Things are gonna change, people. I swear it this time. All I want to do is actual things now. I have all this time and I've only ever wallowed in it. I've wasted nearly 3 months of nearly nothing to hold me back and I've never been lazier in my life. Winter, my ass. I'd rather be cold and moving than still cold in my fucking $245 heated apartment and getting more like the fat chick I am. Yeah, I talk big, but you all can eat me. Like a frosty, not too fast or I'll give you a headache. And who fucking orders a vanilla frosty? Of course I want chocolate, you Best-Burger-in-Silver-City-flipping mother fraker.

To close, Michelle told me that Barack Obama said, "The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." For the country's sake, let's all hope that that doesn't apply to me just yet.

Judgement.

Uh. This has probably been the greatest day of my life.

Carlsbad Caverns, driving through more of New Mexico which I now declare in the top 3 most beautiful states, ROSWELL, White Sand National Monument and then stopping for the evening in Truth or Consequences to take a much needed and deserved natural hot springs bath. And that's only the beginning.

Anything I write about today will not do any good. I cannot express what has happened to me. It's corny and ridiculous but with the amount of intense exposure to absolutely pure and unaltered beauty was almost too much for this guy to handle. I could think of little else than my disbelief and awe and of course Margot. The pictures I'll post are good but... not. There's nothing I can offer through this medium that will do what I feel needs to be done. All I know is that Robert's camera ran dry twice today from all the ridiculous use. And I broke my phone again. It works, but not really. It was definitely worth falling down the huge hills at White Sands.

Anyway, here are pictures. I hope they can at least provide an aid to what I went through. I took over 360 pictures/videos today and I wish I had more. Thanks for blogging with me today. It's not a day I'll soon forget.

That’s Carlsbad Caverns. All I can really say is: Massive. The sheer size of this gigantic hole in the earth that water made is simply ridiculous. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or laugh or simply shut the fuck up and keep walking. I was utterly enthralled. The camera gave out with probably an hour left through the caves, but it really wasn’t taking the best pictures anyway. No fault to the camera of course because “dark as fuck” doesn’t begin to describe what it had to work with.

I would say I drew inspiration from this if it were true. It’s not that I wasn’t inspired, it’s just… what the fuck do you write about? There’s nothing I can put down on a sheet of paper that would accurately describe what that place did to me. Or that you would want to read for that matter.

Roswell and the UFO museum. Melissa met an alien. Awesome.

Oh, nothing. Just New Mexico.

White Sands National Monument. As you can actually see from these pictures, we might have been on huge mounds of snow, but oh no ladies and gentlemen. Genuine white sand. Not that climactic, but it was still fucking nuts. First thing I did was roll around in it and fall down hills and hurt myself all the while breaking my phone, as usual. Then the sun set and there was this sand and this sky and I lost my mind again. It just can’t happen enough on this trip.

This is one of the only times I’ve done anything like this and I am absolutely floored. This is one temperate zone in one region of one country in an incredibly small percentage of the world, and I think I know where I want to be for the rest of my life. I’ve got a lot to do.

Now I’m in Truth or Consequences. Fitting.

An Evening With Austin

Places like this exist in Austin. It's a damned anomaly. You would never think you were in Texas. The downtown area was pretty alright, but just outside was absolutely beautiful. And the hospitality was delightfully stereotypical. Rose and Terry were wonderful hosts and I could not have been more comfortable. We had lots of adult talk. Terry saw the Stones in 1969. I was born in the wrong era.


Some quick Bat Facts for you brought to you by the city of Austin, TX, home to the world famous bridge bats:
1) Bats are not blind.
2) Bats do not become entangled in people's hair.
3) Bats are not flying rodents.
4) Bats are not dirty or mostly rabid.
5) Bats do not attack people.
6) Bats you can catch are most likely to be sick so you should never attempt to handle them.


Austin was very unfortunately freezing. Ice on the cacti and stuff. But, we braved it Chicago style and went to a show last night at this place called the Continental Club. David Garza and his band were playing, and do every Tuesday evening, this one being their last. So, it was a hell of a show. I know nothing about this band, but I was ridiculously entertained. Lots of old '50s covers, some Blondie, Talking Heads and some really wonderful originals. Dude played for over 3 hours without a break. The best part was this band consisted of a guitar, bass, and two fucking drum kits manned by three percussionists. Just huge sound coming off this little stage. A wonderful taste of the famous Austin music scene. Also, if anyone wants to go to SXSW this summer, I have a place to stay.

This morning had us leaving beautiful Austin for New Mexico, a hell of a trek across Texas. We stopped first in Fredericksburg which made me write about a million poems. Texas is huge and beautiful and fast. And by fast I mean:

Some other great things about Texas are that Melissa is a cowboy, C got pulled over and warninged, and I'm a cowgirl.

It also ended up being a super fast feeling drive. Once we hit New Mexico, everything changed. I've never seen so much of something so big in my life. Pictures and shit won't do it any justice, but it's awe inspiring. I know a bit more about the Lonesome Dove novels since being here. I really do not want to leave.

That top left photo might be the best picture I've ever taken. Almost incredibly accidental. I'm going to put a video on of some driving. I don't have any audio on my computer so I don't know if it's incredibly windy or if there's a Boston soundtrack or some really idiotic commentary by me. Also, check out C's blog, because I'm pretty sure a video of the spider walk in New Mexico at the Carlsbad Caverns will be your prize. I have to split though. Two words: desert stars.

Bad Pictures

I really appreciate Robert's lending me of his camera, but I am no photographer. Here are some shitty pictures from our trip.

Cafe du Monde beignets and coffee. Melissa and C thought I was taking pictures of them. Chicks.

Side note: Only older Asian women work at this 130 year old French coffee house. Go figure.





Texas is really big. They got clouds and prairie burnings and sun and stuff. The warmth we ran into made us roll down our windows. Now, you've all heard my bullshit about loving winter, especially in Chicago, and I'm very scared that this is going to ruin me for the remaining three months of that. It just felt so damned good that all I could think about is when I can wear a t-shirt outside in the city this summer. I'm ecstatic and pissed at the same time. Oh, C and Melissa wouldn't let me see the Battleship Texas. It's Boomland all over again.

Here's Houston gleaming through the clouds. Now, I thought this city was awesome, but when we got to Austin, Terry (one of our gracious hosts) thought it sucked. He said it in a retired Texas corporate guy way, but that was the jist. We drove around aimlessly for a bit while I pretended I knew how to read that map. I swear, I leave Chicago and I don't know where the fuck I am. Anyway, C saved us and brought us to....



The delicious Chick Fil-A. Hot damn, that's a good nugget.

We then got lost and I'm 'The Fat Chick'. You guys miss me.